Experts: Kids are resilient in coping with trauma


WASHINGTON (AP) — They might not want to talk about the gunshots or the screams. But their toys might start getting into imaginary shootouts.


Last week's school shooting in Connecticut raises the question: What will be the psychological fallout for the children who survived?


For people of any age, regaining a sense of security after surviving violence can take a long time. They're at risk for lingering anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder.


But after the grief and fear fades, psychiatrists say most of Newtown's young survivors probably will cope without long-term emotional problems.


"Kids do tend to be highly resilient," said Dr. Matthew Biel, chief of child and adolescent psychiatry at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital.


And one way that younger children try to make sense of trauma is through play. Youngsters may pull out action figures or stuffed animals and re-enact what they witnessed, perhaps multiple times.


"That's the way they gain mastery over a situation that's overwhelming," Biel explained, saying it becomes a concern only if the child is clearly distressed while playing.


Nor is it unusual for children to chase each other playing cops-and-robbers, but now parents might see some also pretending they're dead, added Dr. Melissa Brymer of the UCLA-Duke National Center for Child Traumatic Stress.


Among the challenges will be spotting which children are struggling enough that they may need professional help.


Newtown's tragedy is particularly heart-wrenching because of what such young children grappled with — like the six first-graders who apparently had to run past their teacher's body to escape to safety.


There's little scientific research specifically on PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder, in children exposed to a burst of violence, and even less to tell if a younger child will have a harder time healing than an older one.


Overall, scientists say studies of natural disasters and wars suggest most children eventually recover from traumatic experiences while a smaller proportion develop long-term disorders such as PTSD. Brymer says in her studies of school shootings, that fraction can range from 10 percent to a quarter of survivors, depending on what they actually experienced. A broader 2007 study found 13 percent of U.S. children exposed to different types of trauma reported some symptoms of PTSD, although less than 1 percent had enough for an official diagnosis.


Violence isn't all that rare in childhood. In many parts of the world — and in inner-city neighborhoods in the U.S., too — children witness it repeatedly. They don't become inured to it, Biel said, and more exposure means a greater chance of lasting psychological harm.


In Newtown, most at risk for longer-term problems are those who saw someone killed, said Dr. Carol North of the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center, who has researched survivors of mass shootings.


Friday's shootings were mostly in two classrooms of Sandy Hook Elementary School, which has about 450 students through fourth-grade.


But those who weren't as close to the danger may be at extra risk, too, if this wasn't their first trauma or they already had problems such as anxiety disorders that increase their vulnerability, she said.


Right after a traumatic event, it's normal to have nightmares or trouble sleeping, to stick close to loved ones, and to be nervous or moody, Biel said.


To help, parents will have to follow their child's lead. Grilling a child about a traumatic experience isn't good, he stressed. Some children will ask a lot of questions, seeking reassurance, he said. Others will be quiet, thinking about the experience and maybe drawing or writing about it, or acting it out at playtime. Younger children may regress, becoming clingy or having tantrums.


Before second grade, their brains also are at a developmental stage some refer to as magical thinking, when it's difficult to distinguish reality and fantasy. Parents may have to help them understand that a friend who died isn't in pain or lonely but also isn't coming back, Brymer said.


When problem behaviors or signs of distress continue for several weeks, Brymer says it's time for an evaluation by a counselor or pediatrician.


Besides a supportive family, what helps? North advises getting children back into routines, together with their friends, and easing them back into a school setting. Studies of survivors of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks found "the power of the support of the people who went through it with you is huge," she said.


Children as young as first-graders can benefit from cognitive-behavioral therapy, Georgetown's Biel said. They can calm themselves with breathing techniques. They also can learn to identify and label their feelings — anger, frustration, worry — and how to balance, say, a worried thought with a brave one.


Finally, avoid watching TV coverage of the shooting, as children may think it's happening all over again, Biel added. He found that children who watched the 9/11 clips of planes hitting the World Trade Center thought they were seeing dozens of separate attacks.


___


EDITOR'S NOTE — Lauran Neergaard covers health and medical issues for The Associated Press in Washington.


Read More..

Wall Street falls as "cliff" talks sour, but hopes remain

NEW YORK (Reuters) - U.S. stocks sold off late in the day to close at session lows on Wednesday as talks to avert a year-end fiscal crisis turned sour, even as investors still expect a deal.


The S&P 500 slipped after a two-day rally that took the benchmark index to its highest close in two months. Defensive-oriented shares led the decliners, including health care and consumer staples.


General Motors bucked the overall weakness to surge 6.6 percent to $27.18 after the automaker said it will buy back 200 million of its shares from the U.S. Treasury, which plans to sell the rest of its GM stake over the next 15 months.


President Barack Obama and congressional Republicans are struggling to come up with a deal to avoid early 2013 tax hikes and spending cuts that many economists say could send the U.S. economy into recession.


House Speaker John Boehner, the top Republican in Congress, said in a one-minute press conference that his chamber will pass a proposal that Obama had already threatened to veto as it spares many wealthy Americans from tax hikes needed to balance the budget. Obama has already agreed to reductions in benefits for senior citizens.


"My guess is they're close to a deal, and right before, it looks like the deal is about to blow up either on manufactured or legitimate reasons," said Uri Landesman, president of hedge fund Platinum Partners in New York.


He said if the market thought a deal was in real danger, the S&P 500 would slide below 1,400. It stands now near 1,435, not far from a two-month high.


The CBOE Volatility Index <.vix> surged 11.5 percent to 17.36, but has remained relatively stable. Its 14- 50- and 200-day averages are all within 1.1 points.


Landesman said the VIX's stability indicates "the bulls have control of this market still."


Banks and energy shares - groups that outperform during periods of economic expansion - have led recent gains, indicating a shift to focusing on a growing economy as Wall Street looks past the budget talks.


Defensive sectors led Wednesday's downturn, with the S&P health care sector index <.gspa> down 1.1 percent.


The Dow Jones industrial average <.dji> dropped 98.99 points, or 0.74 percent, to 13,251.97. The S&P 500 <.spx> lost 10.98 points, or 0.76 percent, to 1,435.81. The Nasdaq Composite <.ixic> fell 10.17 points, or 0.33 percent, to 3,044.36.


Herbalife Ltd shares tumbled 12.1 percent to $37.34 after William Ackman, one of the world's biggest hedge fund managers, said he is shorting the stock of the weight management products company.


Oracle shares helped cap the Nasdaq's loss after the company reported earnings that beat expectations on strong software sales growth. Oracle jumped 3.7 percent to $34.09.


Knight Capital Group Inc climbed 5.4 percent to $3.51 after it agreed to be bought by Getco Holdings in a deal valued at $1.4 billion. The stock, which nearly collapsed after a trading error in August, remains down about 70 percent so far this year.


Shares of Chinese display advertising provider Focus Media Holding Ltd jumped 6.7 percent to $25.52 after it agreed to be bought by a consortium of private equity funds led by the Carlyle Group for about $3.6 billion.


Data showed homebuilding permits touched their highest level in nearly 4-1/2 years in November. The PHLX housing index <.hgx> fell 0.8 percent, but has gained 66.4 percent this year as the housing market has turned the corner.


About 6.9 billion shares changed hands on the New York Stock Exchange, the Nasdaq and NYSE MKT, slightly above the daily average so far this year of about 6.45 billion shares.


Advancing and declining issues were almost even on both the NYSE and the Nasdaq.


(Reporting by Rodrigo Campos; Editing by Jan Paschal)



Read More..

India Ink: Indians Outraged Over Rape on Moving Bus in New Delhi

The police said the men were looking for some fun. They had been drinking, having a party, and decided to go on a joy ride. They began circling the capital in a private bus, the police said, when they spotted a couple looking for a ride home. They waved the man and woman onboard and charged them each 36 cents.

And then, the police said, the men beat the couple with an iron rod and repeatedly raped the woman as the bus circled the city. The woman suffered severe injuries to her head and intestines and required multiple operations, local news media reported, indicators of an assault so savage that India’s capital on Tuesday was shaking with public outrage. Protesters encircled a local police station and blocked a major highway. India’s Parliament erupted in angry protests and condemnation.

“A terrible, terrible atrocity has happened,” Renuka Chowdhary, a member of Parliament, said Tuesday during a raucous session in the upper house. “I am not going to allow this incident to become another statistic.”

Sushma Swaraj, the leader of the opposition in the lower house, demanded that the death penalty be imposed for rapists. “She will live her whole life as a living corpse if she survives,” Ms. Swaraj said of the victim. “Why should there not be the death penalty in such a case?”

The attack is the latest grisly sexual assault in northern India, many of them occurring in the national capital, now often described in the media as India’s rape capital. Horrific cases of violence against women seem to happen with disturbing regularity. In one highly publicized case in October, a 16-year-old girl in the neighboring state of Haryana was raped repeatedly by a group of eight men, perhaps more, who filmed the assault on their cellphones and threatened to kill her if she told anyone. But the family came forward after the videos circulated and her father killed himself by drinking pesticide.

The latest attack occurred on Sunday evening, in the southern rim of the capital. The woman, a 23-year-old medical student, had been out with a male friend; Indian news media reported that they had seen a film together. It was about 9:10 p.m., and the police said the couple were trying to find a ride to a city neighborhood known as Palam. A bus pulled over, and they boarded.

New Delhi has a mix of public and private buses serving more than seven million people every day. The police said the man and woman were tricked into believing that the bus was part of the city’s public fleet: one of the suspects was posing as a conductor, calling out for passengers. Instead, the bus was part of a fleet owned by a private charter company. One of the suspects worked for the company by day, driving a bus for a private school.

As the bus began moving, three young men confronted the couple and began harassing the woman, the police said. Her friend tried to intervene, but they beat him with an iron rod and then repeatedly raped the woman, the police said.

Eventually, the two were stripped of their clothing and thrown out of the bus onto a national highway on the southern outskirts of the capital.

In a briefing on Tuesday afternoon, the Delhi police commissioner, Neeraj Kumar, said the suspects had taken the bus after an evening of drinking and eating. “The idea was to have fun,” he said.

The police said they had arrested four of the six suspects in the case, based on evidence from closed-circuit surveillance cameras. The commissioner said the courts would be asked to “fast track” the case, while prosecutors are expected to seek the maximum sentence of life in prison.

The woman is being treated at Safdarjung Hospital in New Delhi, and regained consciousness on Tuesday, local media reported. She is communicating through writing.

Across New Delhi on Tuesday, women’s groups and students organized protests to demand better security, at one point shutting down the city’s outer ring road, a major route. Several hundred other protesters gathered around the police station where the complaint was filed, holding placards and chanting slogans.

“This is an expression of our horror and anger and discontent at how things are,” said Komal, a doctoral student at Jawaharlal Nehru University who asked to be identified only by her first name. “The government has to take responsibility.”

She said she regularly took buses and often felt unsafe traveling in the capital region. Being sexually harassed is an “everyday experience,” she said. Women are constantly followed by men and groped while on public transportation, she said.

Anupama Ramakrishnan, 33, who is studying sociology at Delhi University, blamed what she called “a deeply held sense of patriarchy” for the attack.

“This is not about sexuality,” she said. “It is about power and violence.”

New Delhi has one of the highest reported rates of crime against women in India, though most experts believe that the official numbers barely hint at the real scale of the problem. Nearly 600 rapes were reported last year, according to the National Crime Records Bureau, more than the reports from Mumbai, Chennai and Bangalore combined. This year, the capital has already recorded more than 600 rapes and may set a record.

In northern India, reports of rape are often followed by questions about the victim’s behavior, and even accusations that she provoked the assault. On Tuesday, some of India’s most prominent activists and social commentators took to Twitter to voice their opinions.

“Security in mobility for a woman is the first right she needs to be guaranteed!” wrote Kiran Bedi, once one of India’s highest-ranking female police officers. “Failure to ensure this is clear failure of governance!”

Hari Kumar contributed reporting.

Read More..

New Android botnet discovered across all major networks






A new Android spam botnet has been discovered across all major networks that sends thousands of text messages without a user’s permission, TheNextWeb reported. The threat, which is known at SpamSoldier, was detected on December 3rd by Lookout Security in cooperation with an unnamed carrier partner. The malware is said to spread through a collection of infected phones that send text messages, which usually advertise free versions of popular paid games like Grand Theft Auto and Angry Birds Space, to hundreds of users each day.


[More from BGR: Facebook’s Instagram monetization plan: License users’ photos without paying for them]






Once a user clicks on the link to download the game, his or her phone instead downloads the malicious app. When the app is downloaded, SpamSoilder removes its icon from the app drawer, installs a free version of the game in question and immediately starts sending spam messages.


[More from BGR: How not to fix Apple Maps]


The security firm notes that the threat isn’t widespread, however it has been spotted on all major carriers in the U.S. and has potential to do serious damage if something isn’t done soon to stop it.


This article was originally published by BGR


Wireless News Headlines – Yahoo! News





Title Post: New Android botnet discovered across all major networks
Rating:
100%

based on 99998 ratings.
5 user reviews.
Author: Fluser SeoLink
Thanks for visiting the blog, If any criticism and suggestions please leave a comment




Read More..

The Voice: Bittersweet Ending for Singers as Show Prepares to Crown a Winner






The Voice










12/18/2012 at 05:30 PM EST







From left: Terry McDermott, Cassadee Pope, Nicholas David and host Carson Daly


Tyler Golden/NBC


The final three contestants on The Voice are all cautiously optimistic – and pretty exhausted – as they head into Tuesday's show, where one of them will be crowned the season 3 winner.

"It has been a long haul. I got an ear infection two days ago," Team Blake's Terry McDermott said after Monday's show. "It feels like it's been a constant battle the last few weeks."

While he'll be happy to get some rest, McDermott said he'll miss singing for millions of people each week. "I'm actually quite sad," he said. "You manage to get up every week and perform on this wonderful stage. There is a certain energy about it."

Favorite Cassadee Pope, who's also on Blake Shelton's team, said she's excited after Monday's show. "I feel great," she said. "I feel really good. I loved the tribute [to the Sandy Hook shooting victims] at the beginning. It just set the mood for the whole night. I just felt so thankful to be there."

Asked how she feels being a front-runner, she replied: "That's really nice. I hope so. I've worked really hard, even before this show. If I don't win, I know it's up to me now to take this platform and take it to the next level."

The third finalist, Nicholas David of Cee Lo Green's team, also has mixed feelings about the season coming to a close. He'll miss the national stage, but is happy to get back to his family.

The hardest part of the journey? "To be away from my kids," he said. "It's been the longest time I've been away from my gal. We've been together almost every day basically since we met. That's been seven years. But it's been a blessing, too."

All three contestants praised each other's abilities. "I thought they were unreal," Pope said of David and McDermott. "Nicholas really showed his quirky, crazy personality with his dance moves and high kicks. And Terry is a powerhouse. I'm going to miss hearing him every night. He is just unreal. And he became one of my best friends."

"I thought Cassadee was phenomenal," said McDermott. "And Nicholas David, with flaming piano singing Jimi Hendrix, that will be something that stays with me for the rest of my life."

"We haven't stopped," David said. "I'm just proud and blessed to be in this company."


Reporting by JESSICA HERNDON

Read More..

Experts: Kids are resilient in coping with trauma


WASHINGTON (AP) — They might not want to talk about the gunshots or the screams. But their toys might start getting into imaginary shootouts.


Last week's school shooting in Connecticut raises the question: What will be the psychological fallout for the children who survived?


For people of any age, regaining a sense of security after surviving violence can take a long time. They're at risk for lingering anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder.


But after the grief and fear fades, psychiatrists say most of Newtown's young survivors probably will cope without long-term emotional problems.


"Kids do tend to be highly resilient," said Dr. Matthew Biel, chief of child and adolescent psychiatry at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital.


And one way that younger children try to make sense of trauma is through play. Youngsters may pull out action figures or stuffed animals and re-enact what they witnessed, perhaps multiple times.


"That's the way they gain mastery over a situation that's overwhelming," Biel explained, saying it becomes a concern only if the child is clearly distressed while playing.


Nor is it unusual for children to chase each other playing cops-and-robbers, but now parents might see some also pretending they're dead, added Dr. Melissa Brymer of the UCLA-Duke National Center for Child Traumatic Stress.


Among the challenges will be spotting which children are struggling enough that they may need professional help.


Newtown's tragedy is particularly heart-wrenching because of what such young children grappled with — like the six first-graders who apparently had to run past their teacher's body to escape to safety.


There's little scientific research specifically on PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder, in children exposed to a burst of violence, and even less to tell if a younger child will have a harder time healing than an older one.


Overall, scientists say studies of natural disasters and wars suggest most children eventually recover from traumatic experiences while a smaller proportion develop long-term disorders such as PTSD. Brymer says in her studies of school shootings, that fraction can range from 10 percent to a quarter of survivors, depending on what they actually experienced. A broader 2007 study found 13 percent of U.S. children exposed to different types of trauma reported some symptoms of PTSD, although less than 1 percent had enough for an official diagnosis.


Violence isn't all that rare in childhood. In many parts of the world — and in inner-city neighborhoods in the U.S., too — children witness it repeatedly. They don't become inured to it, Biel said, and more exposure means a greater chance of lasting psychological harm.


In Newtown, most at risk for longer-term problems are those who saw someone killed, said Dr. Carol North of the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center, who has researched survivors of mass shootings.


Friday's shootings were mostly in two classrooms of Sandy Hook Elementary School, which has about 450 students through fourth-grade.


But those who weren't as close to the danger may be at extra risk, too, if this wasn't their first trauma or they already had problems such as anxiety disorders that increase their vulnerability, she said.


Right after a traumatic event, it's normal to have nightmares or trouble sleeping, to stick close to loved ones, and to be nervous or moody, Biel said.


To help, parents will have to follow their child's lead. Grilling a child about a traumatic experience isn't good, he stressed. Some children will ask a lot of questions, seeking reassurance, he said. Others will be quiet, thinking about the experience and maybe drawing or writing about it, or acting it out at playtime. Younger children may regress, becoming clingy or having tantrums.


Before second grade, their brains also are at a developmental stage some refer to as magical thinking, when it's difficult to distinguish reality and fantasy. Parents may have to help them understand that a friend who died isn't in pain or lonely but also isn't coming back, Brymer said.


When problem behaviors or signs of distress continue for several weeks, Brymer says it's time for an evaluation by a counselor or pediatrician.


Besides a supportive family, what helps? North advises getting children back into routines, together with their friends, and easing them back into a school setting. Studies of survivors of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks found "the power of the support of the people who went through it with you is huge," she said.


Children as young as first-graders can benefit from cognitive-behavioral therapy, Georgetown's Biel said. They can calm themselves with breathing techniques. They also can learn to identify and label their feelings — anger, frustration, worry — and how to balance, say, a worried thought with a brave one.


Finally, avoid watching TV coverage of the shooting, as children may think it's happening all over again, Biel added. He found that children who watched the 9/11 clips of planes hitting the World Trade Center thought they were seeing dozens of separate attacks.


___


EDITOR'S NOTE — Lauran Neergaard covers health and medical issues for The Associated Press in Washington.


Read More..

Wall Street climbs on economy bets as it looks past "cliff"

NEW YORK (Reuters) - U.S. stocks rallied on strong volume on Tuesday, capping off the S&P 500's best two-day run in a month, on confidence that a deal would be struck in Washington to avoid painful spending cuts and tax hikes that could hurt the economy.


Banks, energy and technology - sectors that would benefit during economic expansion - led gains as investors remain confident that lawmakers will come to an agreement to avoid the so-called "fiscal cliff" deadline at the end of the year.


The PHLX oil services sector index <.osx> jumped 3.1 percent, with eight of its 15 components up 3 percent or more.


"The view is that the economy is getting better, and that is always good for energy demand," said Shawn Hackett, president at Hackett Financial Advisors in Boynton Beach, Florida.


Hackett said the United States would avoid "whatever the cliff means" for the economy, allowing investors to focus on growth.


President Barack Obama's most recent offer to Republicans in the ongoing budget talks makes concessions on taxes and social programs spending. House Speaker John Boehner said the offer is "not there yet," though he remains hopeful about an agreement. Senate Democrats, however, have expressed concern about cuts to Social Security.


Financial stocks shot higher, as traders bet on a greater demand for loans and a steepening of the yield curve. U.S. government debt sold off Tuesday, with the benchmark 10-year U.S. Treasury note's yield briefly hitting its highest since late October.


The S&P financial sector <.gspf> added 1.5 percent.


The Dow Jones industrial average <.dji> rose 115.57 points, or 0.87 percent, to 13,350.96 at the close. The S&P 500 <.spx> gained 16.43 points, or 1.15 percent, to 1,446.79. The Nasdaq Composite <.ixic> added 43.93 points, or 1.46 percent, to 3,054.53.


It was the S&P 500's first back-to-back gain of more than 1 percent since late July.


Stocks of smaller companies outperformed the broader market, with the Russell 2000 <.rut> up 1.5 percent.


Shares of firearm makers sank in the aftermath of a school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, on Friday that killed 20 young children and six adults.


Smith and Wesson fell 10 percent to $7.79 on its largest-ever daily volume, though it was still up about 77 percent so far this year. Sturm Ruger and Co slid 7.7 percent Tuesday to $40.60.


Private equity firm Cerberus Capital Management said it would sell gunmaker Freedom Group, whose Bushmaster AR-15 rifle was used in the Connecticut massacre. Dick's Sporting Goods suspended the sale of certain semi-automatic rifles in its stores nationwide.


Technology shares rose, led by Apple , up 2.9 percent at $533.90 after losing nearly 13 percent in the last two weeks. The S&P Information Technology Index <.gspt> rose 1.7 percent.


Arbitron Inc surged 23.6 percent to $47.03 after Nielsen Holdings NV agreed to buy the media and marketing research firm in a deal worth $1.26 billion. Nielsen rose 4.4 percent to $30.92.


About 7.4 billion shares changed hands on the New York Stock Exchange, the Nasdaq and NYSE MKT, more than the daily average so far this year of about 6.5 billion shares.


On the NYSE, roughly 14 issues rose for every five that fell, while on the Nasdaq, advancers outnumbered decliners by a ratio of about 5 to 2.


(Reporting by Rodrigo Campos; Editing by Jan Paschal)



Read More..

Observatory: Fossils of New Species Discovered in England


University of Leicester


A view of Pauline avibella, a shrmplike marine creature, from a computer-generated model.







A tiny, fossilized crustacean that lived 425 million years ago has been discovered, remarkably intact, in a rock formation in Herefordshire, England. Paleontologists say it represents a new genus and species, belonging to a class of shrimplike marine creatures called ostracods.




Despite their age, the two specimens were well preserved. They included the shell and the soft parts of the animal, including its body, limbs, eyes, gills and alimentary system.


“It gives us a really special insight into the biology of these animals,” said David Siveter of the University of Leicester in England. He and colleagues from the University of Oxford, Imperial College and Yale discuss the findings in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B.


The researchers determined that the animal had large eyes and seven pairs of limbs, with the front two pairs adapted for swimming.


It probably used these limbs to swim near the water’s bottom rather than in the water column, Dr. Siveter said.


Analyzing the fragile fossil posed a challenge. “We couldn’t grab it from the rock because it’s so delicate and small,” Dr. Siveter said. “And we couldn’t X-ray it because there wasn’t enough density contrast between the rock and the fossil.”


So the researchers used physical tomography, grinding minute slices off the fossils and capturing an image of each new section. The process, permitted by international guidelines for establishing new species, destroys the fossils themselves but yields detailed data to produce a computer-generated model.


The crustacean is named Pauline avibella, after Dr. Siveter’s deceased wife, Pauline.


Read More..

Specs for HTC’s ‘M7′ phone may include 1.7GHz quad-core CPU, 4.7-inch full HD display









Title Post: Specs for HTC’s ‘M7′ phone may include 1.7GHz quad-core CPU, 4.7-inch full HD display
Rating:
100%

based on 99998 ratings.
5 user reviews.
Author: Fluser SeoLink
Thanks for visiting the blog, If any criticism and suggestions please leave a comment




Read More..

Gwen Stefani Calls Parenting with Gavin Rossdale the 'Ultimate Collaboration'

Gwen Stefani: Having Kids with Gavin Is the 'Ultimate Collaboration'Courtesy Vogue


Despite her long list of impressive accolades, Gwen Stefani doesn’t have a problem pinpointing one of her proudest accomplishments.


The songstress, 43, and her husband Gavin Rossdale celebrated their 10-year wedding anniversary in September, a feat Stefani admits is far from easy, but worth the work.


“It’s pride. You feel proud. There are just so many rewards that come with it,” she tells the January issue of Vogue.


“But, actually, it’s fun to get to this point. Because you learn so much about somebody. It’s like these wars that go on and then you kind of get through to the other side, and it’s like, ‘Wow.’”


Strengthening their 16-year-long love has been the addition of the couple’s two children, sons Kingston James McGregor, 6½, and Zuma Nesta Rock, 4.

“Having kids takes the whole relationship to another place. It is the ultimate collaboration,” she explains. “Both of us have such strong opinions about how it should be, and it’s really fun to do it together.”


Fortunately for Stefani, it was a gradual ease into motherhood, with the biggest challenges of raising children finally presenting themselves only when it was time to send her eldest son off to school.


“At first your life is totally the same. You have this cute little thing that you get to drive around everywhere and you’re so proud and it’s amazing,” she says. “And as they grow older, it really does start to change your life. Like, ‘Oh my God, they have school, they have to get through first grade, they have to learn to read.’ It starts getting so serious, and you’re like, ‘Ahhh!’”


The sudden reality of parenting her rambunctious boys hit Stefani full force in 2011, when Rossdale headed out on tour with his band Bush to promote their first album after a 10-year hiatus.


With the dynamic parenting duo continents apart, the mom-of-two, who was once able to withstand longer stretches of separation from Rossdale, found her family wasn’t nearly as functional without her better half.


“I mean, he was there for me mentally, but physically? These boys are physical. They wake up and they start punching each other!” Stefani says with a laugh.


“One thing we’ve had in our relationship the whole time is that we can have it both ways: together, not together, and it’s fine. But when you have kids? It’s not so great. They need him.”


She continues, “Once you have a family, it’s just so obvious how everyone needs each other. So it’s really nice to have him back.”


Although she held down the homefront while Rossdale was away, the couple have also been known to pack up the troops and bring their boys along on the road. Most memorably, Stefani hit the stage while pregnant with Kingston and continued touring after welcoming her son — balancing breastfeeding and show schedules.


“I would want to throw up during certain songs. Certain outfits would make me sick. It was torture. I toured until I was 4½ months pregnant, showing,” she recalls, returning to the road when Kingston was 8 months old.


“I nursed him for 14 months, so I would literally do my hair and makeup, go back to the bus, nurse him, put him down and walk out on stage. And I did that for 100 shows.”


Fortunately for the No Doubt frontwoman, there have been performances that have kept her much closer to home — and to her boys. Teaming up with her bandmates after a three-year break, the group swapped out concert venues for a much more intimate atmosphere when they agreed to participate in Zuma’s school fundraiser.


“I was going to do an acoustic thing with Tom [Dumont], just a couple of songs. The night before we were like, ‘Why don’t we all do it?’” she shares. “And we got up there and we did these songs, and it was a very surreal setting. It was kind of weird going to school the next day. Oooh, awkward! But it was so great.”


From her personal to her professional lives — and her whole brood of boys, from her band to her family — Stefani is utterly blessed. So much so, that she admits she often wonders if it’s all just a dream.


“[Our house is] an all-white box, super modern, 30 foot ceilings, marble floors. It’s just so nice,” she says. “I never thought I’d live in a house like this. Every day I’m like, ‘Really? Are you serious? Thank you, God. This is too good.’”


– Anya Leon


Read More..